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Wonder Cat

02/08/2011

Since we adopted our second cat a few months ago, we’ve discovered that she has special talents.

Cuddle Cats

In addition to the Wonder-Twin Cuteness Mimicry Magic depicted above, she has demonstrated the following kitty superpowers:

1) Ability to open and climb kitchen cabinets in a single bound. Cabinets now baby-proofed.

2) Invisibility Cloak: Also known as the ability to sneak unobserved into a dresser drawer before it is closed. Her record for remaining under wraps is two hours.

3) Master Shredding Powers: Specially tuned to disembowel the most dangerous roll of toilet paper.

4) Super Seltzer Stare: This amazing power of concentration allows her to go one-on-one with any glass of fizzy water. She is obsessed with mastering this skill.

5) Triple-Action Ninja Backflip: Demonstrated on a daily basis as she battles the great and terrifying bird-feather whirly toy.

6) Super Senses: Otherwise known as the ability to find and procure the aforementioned whirly feather toy anywhere we hide it—even in the closet. The locked closet. (See item #8.)

7) Fetch: OK, technically this is a Wonder Dog superpower, but she has it. Brings her toy to the stupid humans who clearly do not understand cat speech and her obvious requests for play.

and finally…

8 ) Catburglar Claws: We’re waiting to see how this one pans out, but thus far she’s begun to study and practice the fine art of opening the sliding-glass shower door. What makes this one particularly frightening is that she’s not just trying to pull the forward door open (which would be difficult with the door guard in place); she’s trying to push the rear door behind the one in front. This is disturbingly clever. Some day very soon, she’ll figure it out.

And then we become afraid. Really afraid.

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